You Always Remember Your First
by madladypoet
Summary: Azazeal remembers his first love.
1. Chapter 1

HEX-YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST

First Chapter

Azazeal held his son gently as he walked from the church. He could still hear Thelma's sobs over the sudden death of her beloved Cassie. For a moment, Azazeal felt a pinch of despair as he glanced down at Malachi's tear stricken tiny face.

But that was only for a moment.

While Azazeal was drawn to Cassie's goodness, he was primarily attracted to her because she had the powers of a witch. She could provide him with a son. A child who would open the veil between this world and the next. From there, other fallen angels could come to earth and claim human women, creating a new race of beings, the niphilim. Azazeal glanced down at his son who was now falling asleep as his father continued to walk toward the forest. Malachi is one of the first, thought Azazeal, and he will lead this new race and watch this world burn.

Divine justice, reflected Azazeal with a smirk, since he and the other fallen were thrown out of heaven for simply coveting what human males were given so freely--women. Azazeal remembered back when he was a fledging angel and this newly created world was the hot topic among his brethren. Of particular interest was this creation called woman. She had been named Eve by her husband, who had dominion over her and all of creation on earth. Angels sent by God to guard Adam and Eve in their new home often fought to get the assignment to guard Eve. Because of his status in the angelic realm, Azazeal never drew that coveted assignment, but often heard from those who had about Eve's beauty and kindness. Yet no angel would dare to get too close to Eve, fearing the wrath of God.

Except Lucifer.

Considered by all angels to be the most powerful, wisest and gifted, Lucifer was the bringer of light to all those who sought it. Even God treated Lucifer with a deference that he gave to no other angel. Azazeal remembered treating Lucifer with awe and rarely spoke in the presence of this most magnificent of angels. Yet, reflected Azazeal, as he moved deeper into the forest toward an old church, which he used as a safe haven for the last two centuries, Lucifer had deliberately sought out the younger angel to help him with his plan—the temptation of Eve.

Today, Christians use the story of Eve's temptation by the serpent to illustrate the fall of man. Men used the story for centuries to dominant women and keep them from positions of power. Azazeal shook his head over such human ignorance. The temptation of Eve was never about Lucifer thumbing his nose at God. It was about love. Lucifer was in love with Eve.

Azazeal remembered the day that Lucifer came to him for help. The older angel had been sent by God to guard Eve and after a time, the angel had fallen in love with her. Despite the fact that even coveting this wife of man was considered treason in heaven, Lucifer still wanted Eve and he sought Azazeal because the younger angel would not say no to him.

Lucifer laid out the plan to Azazeal and even now, as he laid his son in a manager in his church refuge, Azazeal had to admit that it was a great plan. Lucifer would pose as one of the animals living on earth and speak to Eve as she worked in the garden. Eventually, he would gain her trust and she would choose him over her earthly husband. Surely, Lucifer had told Azazeal, once God saw that Lucifer was a better choice for Eve than the silly earth creature, then Lucifer and Eve could be together. Azazeal's role in this plan was to take Lucifer's place as Eve's guard and provide Lucifer and Eve with as much privacy as possible. This was difficult given that Adam was always by his wife's side, but the human learned quickly to keep his distance whenever the snake was present since it seemed to enjoy biting Adam.

It was the perfect plan.

Lucifer turned himself into a snake, the only creature that could get close to Eve because it was so small, and Azazeal became Eve's guard. After a few weeks, Azazeal could see why Lucifer was in love. Eve was warm and kind, treating every creature, including the snake with love and care. Azazeal had to admit even now as he rocked his son to sleep that Eve was a truly unique woman and a role model for all women. Yet, as he watched his son's sleeping face, Azazeal remembered with some amusement that Lucifer was too afraid to speak to Eve directly and when he tried all that came out of his mouth was hissing and spitting. To see the most powerful of all angels undone by a woman was amusing, but Azazeal wanted to see his mentor succeed. He knew that one day Eve would bear children and among Eve's daughters, Azazeal would find his own woman.

Unfortunately, even the best-laid plans go astray.

One day, to everyone's surprise, Eve suggested that she and Adam work in separate parts of the garden. Adam protested, but ultimately gave in. Eve loved her husband, but she needed time away from him. She wandered toward the center of the garden where the tree of knowledge lies. Eve had no interest in the tree for she simply sought solitude. For Lucifer and Azazeal, this was an unexpected gift and Lucifer finally found the power to give the snake a voice to speak to Eve.

Slithering along the tree of knowledge, Lucifer spoke to Eve, but found her uninterested in the ramblings of a snake. She was humming to herself and picking up leaves and rotted vegetation and replanting it beneath the earth. Lucifer looked to Azazeal for advice, but the younger angel had none to give. Finally, Lucifer had an idea. He remembered from watching Adam and Eve that Adam always brought Eve a gift whenever the couple had a fight. Lucifer offered Eve a gift—an apple from the tree of knowledge. At first, Eve told the snake that God had warned Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree, but Lucifer told her that was nonsense. As Eve took a bite of the apple, a crack came from the sky and thunder rumbled as angels swarmed into the garden. Eve was taken back to her husband and Lucifer, still in the form of a snake, and Azazeal were taken back to heaven to be judged by God.

With his son fast asleep, Azazeal wandered around the church, thinking about his fall from grace. Those days following Eve's temptation were terribly dark for the fledging angel. Other angels would not speak to him. Lucifer went crazy, calling for a rebellion against God and finally sealing his fate by sitting on God's throne while God was dealing with the fall of mankind on earth. Lucifer rallied other angels around him, including Azazeal and declared a war in heaven. Alas, Lucifer and his army lost and were thrown out of heaven.

Azazeal stood at the window looking at into the night sky. He remembered waking up in hell--the suffocating smell of sulphur, being chained to a burning lake, the pain of his wings being burned off. In that moment, he understood what pure hatred felt like and that is what he felt for Lucifer. He looked over at his fallen leader who to Azazeal's surprise had tears in his eyes.

"She didn't even look at me when she was thrown out of Eden." stated Lucifer softly.

From that day forward, Lucifer never mentioned Eve again. He would continue over the long centuries to go to earth and covert with human women, but no one ever captured his heart as Eve did. When Azazeal sought permission to go to earth and find a human woman, Lucifer gave his consent and this warning.

"You'll never forget your first."


	2. Chapter 2

Hex Last Chapter

Azazeal emerged from hell into the dark ages. Humanity had grown from two people wandering in the desert to millions living in different continents. Azazeal awoke on the floor of a church. He stared up at the stone ceiling and took a moment to assess his situation. Then he began to laugh. After centuries of being changed to a lake and living in hell, he was now back on earth, seeking his own woman. Slowly, Azazeal got up from the cold stone floor and took in his surroundings. He breathed deeply. The air was cold and bitter, but with none of the aftertaste of sulfur. He looked around and his eyes took in nothing but blueness. It was evening and the church was bathed in moonlight. Azazeal got to his feet and nearly fell over. Centuries of not walking had created a case of vertigo that Azazeal had not expected. Laughing again, he pulled himself up and walked to the door. Unexpectedly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"My son," said a gentle male voice, "What are you doing in the church so late?"

Azazeal felt himself become ill. A man of God was touching him and as a fallen angel, Azazeal could not stand it. He turned around and faced the priest. The man fell back in horror at what he saw in Azazeal's eyes and crossed himself. Azazeal laughed and walked outside. The smells and colors of the outside world hit him hard and he had to close his eyes just to regain his balance. Azazeal then stepped off the church steps into mud. He looked down at his feet and laughed again.

He was finally back on earth.

Walking away from the church, Azazeal found himself strolling down a country lane. The night was old, heading toward dawn and every living creature seemed to be asleep even the insects. Forgetting his purpose, Azazeal took a moment to reveal in his freedom when he heard a voice.

Not just any voice, Azazeal thought, as he watched his son sleep, her voice. He stopped himself and walked toward the house where the voice seemed to be coming from. He crept up to one of the windows in front of the house. The glass, some mundane human invention to keep the weather out of the house, was blurring his vision and he could not tell what she looked like. Azazeal realized that he was going to have to wait until morning to see her. Crouching down in the mud, Azazeal breathed in the night air and exhaled again. He had waited thousands of years to find this woman; he could wait another couple of hours.

The morning began brilliantly. The sun rose, and for the first time in a thousand years, Azazael watched his first sunrise. The brightness of the orb, the warmth of its rays, and the kaleidoscope of colors overwhelmed him to the point of tears.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" said a soft voice behind him.

Azazeal turned immediately and found himself staring into the eyes of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her eyes were dark brown with golden flecks in them. She had full lips and long black hair that cascaded down her back. She was wearing a full-length dress and on her hip she was holding a water jug. She noticed that Azazeal was staring at her with something more than curiosity. She felt embarrassed and continued to speak.

"I always come out early to watch the sun rise." She said nervously. "It makes me feel closer to God."

Azazeal resisted the urge to laugh aloud. He did not want to offend her. Gently, he reached over and took the water jug from her. His hands brushed against her hip and he could feel the heat from her skin beneath the cloth. A sudden and fierce desire arose within Azazeal and he finally understood Lucifer's suffering. Pushing down his desire, Azazeal smiled at her.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Pearl." She replied. "My name is Pearl."

"My dear Pearl," responded Azazeal softly, "I am Azazeal."

The girl smiled at him and seemed to lose some of her nervousness. Azazeal offered to walk with her and from that moment, their relationship began. Azazeal was careful in courting Pearl and despite his own desires, the fallen angel found himself falling in love with her. She was warm and kind and always had a smile for him. Still, he had never touched her and it was driving him crazy. In fact, he was becoming obsessed with it.

Sex. It had driven even the most pious angel crazy.

Azazeal had come up with several plans to seduce Pearl, but each one seemed false. He realized that he had only one choice—marriage. He hated the idea of marriage. Not the act of binding two people together, but the fact that God had assigned certain covenants to marriage made it distasteful to a fallen angel. Even worse, Azazeal knew that he had to marry Pearl in a church for their union to be accepted.

On the day of his wedding, Azazeal was ill. He was sweating and every sound and movement made him jittery, but when he saw Pearl walking down the aisle toward him wearing a white dress with flowers in her hair; he immediately forgot his nervousness. He was going to spend an eternity with the woman he loved.

So Azazeal became a married man and experienced sex for the first time.

Azazeal had heard rumors about sex from his fellow angels. From the Gregori angels who watched Adam and Eve make love, to the fallen who were allowed to come to earth to find women, sex was the hottest topic in heaven and hell. Still, nothing he had heard had prepared Azazeal for it. The touch of another human being's skin; the feel of their lips, the explosion of an orgasm. After he and Pearl made love for the first time, Azazeal could have happily been sent back to hell for he had finally experienced a pleasure beyond anything he had ever gone through in heaven.

Sex, thought Azazeal, was God's greatest creation.

Still, reflected Azazeal as he watched his son sleep, sex would prove to be his ultimate undoing.

Nine months after their marriage, Azazeal found Pearl collapsed on the floor of their home. She was pregnant and close to giving birth. Although it had been a difficult pregnancy, the pair had been exceedingly happy. Walking in to find his wife lying in a pool of blood and unresponsive, Azazeal remembered that it was the first time he actually experienced fear. He found Pearl's pulse—weak, but still there—and picked her up and put her to bed. Then he raced for the midwife. As he was running to find this woman, he felt tears sting his eyes. He would not lose his wife and their child. He would tear the heavens apart before that would happen.

The midwife followed Azazeal back to the house where she thoroughly examined Pearl. She looked at Azazeal grimly and shook her head.

"She has lost too much blood." said the old woman. "She will not last the night."

Azazeal felt a killing rage overcome him. This woman was sentencing his wife and child to death. He would not accept that. In a rage, he slew her with one movement and watched her body rip apart. Calmly, he carried the body outside and torched it. Then he walked back in to check on Pearl.

"Azazeal?" asked Pearl, her breathes ragged.

Frantically, Azazeal ran to her side and grabbed her hand.

"Yes, my love?" said the angel.

"I . . ." she faltered as she slipped back out of consciousness.

Azazeal gently wiped her face with a damp cloth to revive her. He needed to keep her awake and alive. He needed to hear what she had to say.

For a moment, Pearl's eyes fluttered open and she looked at Azazeal with the kindness and love he had been spoiled with.

"I love you." she whispered and closed her eyes.

Azazeal felt for her pulse, but there was none. She was gone.

Azazeal felt a rage tear through him that he had never experienced. His fury was so intense that he changed from his human form into his true angelic form. He felt the entire room shake and then blow apart. Flames consumed the entire house. including his beloved Pearl and unborn child. Suddenly, Azazeal felt himself falling. At first, he saw a myriad of colors then blackness. He was puzzled as he fell through the cold air, then he smelled sulfur.

He was going back to hell.

Azazeal landed hard on his back, but he did not care. Neither the pain of his fall nor the torments of hell could hurt as badly as the loss of Pearl and his child. As the chains wrapped themselves around his body, Azazeal looked up to see Lucifer standing over him. The lord of hell simply looked at the younger fallen without judgment, and then sighed.

"I told you." said Lucifer. "You never forget your first."

Azazeal watched his son sleep and smiled. He remained in hell for another hundred years before Lucifer allowed him out again. In that time, Azazeal lost all emotion and capacity for love. His memory of Pearl and their short life together had completely destroyed his compassion for the human race and his respect for God. He felt despair so completely overtake him that nothing else existed but gaining revenge on God.

Gently, Azazeal touched his son's face. He knew that Malachi was the key to getting that revenge, but furthermore, he knew that his son would never experience the torment of love lost. Malachi would become everything his father was not—strong, ruthless and cold-hearted. Still as he touched the boy he knew that human women could turn even the most cold-hearted man into a better person. Remembering the lesson of his mentor, he leaned down and whispered in his son's ear.

"You never forget your first."


End file.
